Friday, April 22, 2016

Book tour + Review: "Dirty" by Kylie Scott


Author: Kylie Scott
Title: "Dirty"
Book 1 in series Dive Bar
Main characters: Vaughan Hewson and Lydia Green

You guys... this book was... just... so freaking AWESOME!!!!!!!! :) and yes, all those exclamation points were absolutely necessary ;) and the fact that I got my hands on the ARC of this gem have nothing to do with my joy and overall awesomeness of this book :) first of all, this was probably the ARC that I wanted to get the most, but I actually didn't think I would... so when I was accepted, some unhuman sound may or may not came out of my mouth... and we all know that it DID in fact happened so let's just move on... ;) but you guys know by now, that I take great pride in always writing my honest reviews and opinions, so when I say that this book was amazing, it was truly amazing... the only difference is that I got to read it a little bit earlier than I thought I would... :) and believe me, after loving her Stage Dive series... and by that I mean of course devour all four books in 5,5 days ;) I was afraid that this spin-off series will not meet my very high expectations... how glad I am to be wrong about that :) it was the same hilarious and inappropriate writing style I loved and characters that make me really need the next stories... ;) but don't worry, if you haven't read Stage Dive series, you can totally read this one :) it works as a standalone as well and is in fact a great example of the hilarious and highly entertaining writing style of Kylie Scott, so go one-click this bad boy... ;) ok, now that the first part of my excitement is out... and yes, there will be more... ;) let's get into a bit more details :)

So about that main couple... usually it's the guy who steals my heart... :) and don't get me wrong... Vaughan was definitely... <sigh> ;) he first appeared in the final book in Stage Dive series, and I was very excited when I heard he's gonna be the hero of his own story... and he did not disappointed... :) he was guitar-playing-tattooed-charming-your-panties-off-with-the-most-inappropriate-things hero ;) and I loved every bit of him :) but it was actually Lydia who I loved the most :) I adored that she was a sassy, hilarious, grab-life-by-the-horns kind of a girl :) I think it's my favourite type of heroines in books :) smart and funny :) but I am kind of used to it by now in Kylie Scott's books... :) cause all the lovely women in Stage Dive series were amazing as well :)

Vaughan and Lydia met in very unusual circumstances... :) and by that I mean that she ran off on her wedding day after learning that her future husband is actually gay and in a relationship with his best man... talk about a wake up call... ;) but after climbing a fence she realizes that lack of condition stands in her way of running away further... ;) so instead she sort of breaks in next door... hey, the window is open after all ;) she lands face first in the bathroom and hides in the bath tub... ;) I kid you not... ;) when she is soon found by Vaughan... and by a totally naked Vaughan I have to add... ;) <sigh> wait, were was I? sorry, got distracted there for a minute ;) I don't want to go into too many details about what happens in the days after that first highly entertaining encounter, because it is really better for you to read it for yourselves, but I am gonna say this... it's a fast but sweet and definitaly hilarious journey that you all need to experience :)

As a first book in a brand new series, this one does a great job introducing a bunch of new characters that I can't wait to read more about ;) I am just gonna mention a few, and without much details, but if I would write everything I want to, this review would take forever... ;) so we have Nell, Vaughan's sister and co-owner of the titular "Dive Bar" :) there's Pat, her... I wanna say husband cause they're not divorced, but they are separated... it's complicated ;) then there's definitely Joe and Eric, brothers who work in the Dive Bar... I think one of them or both might be co-owners as well, but to be honest I don't remember that little detail at the moment... ;) hey, don't judge... a lot of very interesting things have been happening, and some of the less entertaining details might have slipped my mind ;) and now, since I love them all, I am dying to read about each and every one of them... ;) and then some more... ;)

In case you haven't noticed yet I absolutely loved this book :) the writing style was great, the characters were fantastic and the story was hilarious, entertaining and sexy as hell... ;) so if you are already a fan of Kylie Scott and her writing style, go one-click it right now... ;) this book is everything we love about her :) and as a bonus we do have one Stage Dive member who appears in this book... and it's my favourite one so double points from me ;) but if you are new to this amazingly talented lady, fear not :) this story can totally be your perfect introduction into her writing style and overall awesomeness ;) it's a highly entertaining story with colorful characters that you would love to be friends with in real life... :) after inhaling this book in two days I am eagerly anticipating the next installment... which is gonna appear in november... damn... ;) it's such a long time... <sigh> what can you do...? ;) I can only comfort myself in the fact that it's just the beginning to what shapes up to be a great series :)

I have for you a few quotes today :) I really wanted to show you a tiny glimpse into all the hilarious awesomeness that awaits you inside this book, but since they come from an ARC, the finished version might be slightly different :) happy reading :)

One of Lydia's inner monologues after she finds out ;)
"Blind panic seized me and I ran. Not easy to do wildly out of shape and in full wedding regalia, but I managed. Hell, I fucking flew. It's amazing what terror can do. Out the French doors and onto the patio. Across the expanse of manicured green lawn, my stiletto heels sinking into the soft ground with every hurried step. Normally, I wasn't much for prayer. Surely, however, the Big Guy wouldn't let me take a tumble and break my ass. Not today. If he really and truly felt the need to smite me some more, it could wait. Today I'd suffered enough."

Part of the first conversation between Vaughan and Lydia in that bathroom ;)
"'You touch any of my stuff?' he asked. 'Take anything?'
'Yes, your sofa is cunningly hidden down the front of my dress. You won't believe where I fit the TV.'"

Another one of Lydia's inner monologues ;)
"He was so warm and lovely and stuff. If the shitty day and toxic tequila had left me with an iota more energy I'd run my no-strings-sex-between-new-friends idea past him. As it was, I'd save it up for tomorrow. At least I had my memories of him bare ass naked to keep me happy in the meantime. And trust me, there was real happiness to be had in having seen this man naked. My dreams had better be full of him, or I and my subconscious would be having a serious talk."

Part of a conversation between Vaughan and Nell ;) Nell first :)
"'Have you even evolved since you were eight?'
'I'm taller. And I got over the whole girl-germs thing too.' He winked.
'Kind of figured that, what with the way you treated the fly on your pants like a revolving door during high school.' For the next part, Nell adopted a low manly tone, 'Hey, I'm the guitarist in a band. I write songs and I care about feelings and shit. Come on, you know you want a piece of this, baby.'
I quietly sniggered (she did his voice so well).
Vaughan cracked up laughing, nearly doubling over at the waist. 'Not bad. But you have to offer to play them some broody-ass emo tunes out by the lake. Works every time.'"

And the last one between Vaughan and Lydia ;)
"'Something you need to know,' he said. 'Before tonight.'
'What's that?'
'I put out on the first date,' he told me with a perfectly straight face. 'That okay with you?'
'Oh, I'm counting on it.' My face might have been aflame, but then so was the rest of my body. 'I mean... it would have been so awkward if you expected me to respect you for your mind or something. Yikes, how embarrassing. Between you and me, I'm really only interested in getting into your pants.'
The corners of his mouth twitched.
'I'm sure you're a nice guy and all but, priorities, you know?'"


If you haven't already done it, go on and one click this baby right now ;)

Kobo 

And if all that is still not enough, follow this little link right -> here <- for additional sneak peek :) and if you need more convincing, I have for you yet another excerpt... and this one is definitely dirty... ;)


Excerpt #2 


“Once upon a time,” he began, voice low and measured. “There was a princess. A beautiful, occasionally annoying princess.”
“What was her name?”
“Ah, Notlydia.”
I frowned. “Her name is Notlydia?”
“You wanted a story, I’m giving you one. Shut up.”
“Whatever.”
An even heavier sigh from the man. “Anyhoo, Notlydia was all set up to marry this prince. We’ll call him Prince Bag of Dicks.”
“Works for me.”
“But on the day of her wedding, when she was wearing this sweet dress that served her tits up like they were a fucking platter...”
“Is this an R-rated story?”
“Please,” he said, sliding an arm around my bare waist. And I let him. “R is for rubbish. If you don’t get to see any penetration then you’re wasting your time. This is XXX.”
I laughed.
“So on the day of her wedding to Prince Bag of Dicks, Notlydia kisses him and he turns into a big slimy two-headed toad with terrible breath and even worse foot odor.”
“Whoa.” I rested my head back against his shoulder. “Poor Notlydia.”
“Hell of a plot twist, right?”
“Never saw that one coming.”
“Mm.” He rested his cheek against the top of my head.
“What happens next?”
“Well, she’s completely freaked out, of course.”
“Of course.”
“And she takes off into the woods. She’s running through bushes, jumping fences, climbing trees, you name it. Nothing’s going to stop her from getting the hell away from that toad, Prince Bag of Dicks.” He took a sip of beer. “Unfortunately, she loses her fancy dress along the way. She’s just down to some skimpy underwear and a corset and with all that jogging through the forest, it’s barely holding her in. One decent breath and there’s going to be nipple out there for all the world to see.
Did I happen to mention she’d been voted Best Rack in the kingdom four years running? Anyway, eventually she finds this small cottage. Now, what you don’t know about Notlydia is that she has a shady past.”I tried to look up at him. But with the angle, all I got was stubble and cheekbone. “That doesn’t sound like Notlydia.”
“Be quiet.” A hand covered my mouth. “Notlydia’s a dirty, dirty girl. Got a bad side like you wouldn’t believe. A little breaking and entering is nothing to her. So into the house she goes. But she’s all muddy from running through the woods, see? She can’t let people see her like this, she’s a princess, for fuck’s sake.”
The hand remained over my mouth. Which was fine, I had nothing to add to his pornographic fairy tale.
“Notlydia gets in the shower and starts soaping herself. There’s lots of bubbles and steam, and she’s a modern woman so there’s a bit of self-love. She even finds time to wash her hair, shave under her pits. Things like that. But then the owner of the cottage wakes up and hears the water running. He stomps into the bathroom saying, someone’s using up my hot water. Notlydia cries out, not me, not me.”
He craned his neck, meeting my gaze. “See, babe, what did I tell you? That Notlydia is a filthy little liar.”
I looked up to heaven. No help was forthcoming.
“Someone’s using up all my soap, says the owner. Not me, not me, cries Notlydia.” He put his lips next to my ear. “She should be ashamed of herself, shouldn’t she? If ever a busty princess deserved a spanking.”
I bit at the palm of his hand, teeth catching at the fleshy mound beneath his thumb.
“Ow.” He laughed, pulling his hand free. “Then the owner said, someone’s been fingering herself in my shower.”
“Stop!” I put my hands over my ears, trying desperately to hold in my laughter. “This is the worst story ever. The Brothers Grimm are rolling over in their graves.”
“Notlydia throws back the shower curtain and says, oh yeah, big boy, that was me. Come and get it. And they have wild sex all over the cottage.” Vaughan’s body jerked beneath mine as he laughed his ass off. “The end.”
“No way. Notlydia is virtuous and pure. She’d never pull that sort of shit.”
“Nah.” He chuckled. “It all happened exactly as I said. Dirtiest princess in all the land.”
“Like hell. The owner of that cottage was a pervert and a deviant. Why, he would have picked the lock on a chastity belt. She never stood a chance.” Difficult to maintain my pious stance, given I’d started laughing so hard tears were pouring down my cheeks. The funny bastard. “I want to know more about this cottage owner. What’s his name?”
“I don’t know. Let me think...” He rested his chin back on top of my head. “He definitely isn’t Prince Charming.”
“He could be!”
Silence.
“If he wanted to. Or not. Whatever,” I added weakly. Crap. “Let’s go back to not talking.”
I was a moron.
We’d been all relaxed and laughing. Me and my idiot mouth. Way to go, Lydia. Just shout out any old impossible daydream to the dude who’s made it clear there was no future “we.” If someone could just direct me to the nearest brick wall, I’d knock a little sense into myself.On the other hand, it was two stupid words. Surely he could have ignored the last hundred years of Disney perpetuating slick-haired young royals gallivanting around the countryside saving hot babes in distress. For the sake of getting along. God knows, Chris never had any problems ignoring or placating me. I’d seen his thoughtless gorgeous smile aimed my way a hundred times. No, a thousand. If only I’d recognized it for what it was.
Ugh. Just the thought of it made me want to punch the douche all over again.
Maybe I needed a bit more than a week to get over that catastrophe. The money would help. Substantially. I’d never imagined that compromising my morals and taking hush money from such foul woe-begotten assholes would feel so good. Maybe I should sell out more often.
“This, ah, this Prince Charming of yours,” he said haltingly.
“Yes?”
Vaughan shifted beneath me, pushing out a heavy breath. “I mean, it doesn’t make sense, does it? Why would he be in a cottage instead of a castle?”
“Well . . . his parents, the king and queen of the neighboring kingdom, died in a terrible accident.”
I stayed perfectly still, waiting to see how he’d react.
“I see.”
“And it hurt him so bad he just, he didn’t want to be a prince anymore.”
Nothing from him.
“Bad things happen in fairy tales sometimes.”
A grunt.
“It’s not fair, but it happens,” I said, feeling my way with more caution than skill. “The prince loved his parents and the castle had too many memories.”
“Hmm.”
“So he ran away into the woods too.”
“Doesn’t sound like much of a prince if he can’t handle his shit,” he said.
“Princes are just men too, human beings. I don’t think a crown or a penis gives you magical invulnerability to loss and pain.” I stared at the wall, thinking the problem through. “Life is hard. Terrible things happen. We all have feelings. We’re all just flesh and blood, trying to do our best.”
“Running away from problems isn’t doing your best.” His voice echoed around the small room, the same as around in my head.
What with holding the Coeur d’Alene title for runaway bride of the year, I had no answer. None at all. So much for my half-assed wisdom.

And to finish this awesome post, I have for you some very pretty teasers :)


About the author:


Kylie is a long time fan of erotic love stories and B-grade horror films. She demands a happy ending and if blood and carnage occur along the way then all the better. Based in Queensland, Australia with her two children and one delightful husband, she reads, writes and never dithers around on the internet. 

Kylie is represented by Amy Tannenbaum at the Jane Rotrosen Agency, New York.

Stalk Kylie Scott WebsiteFacebookTwitterGoodreads

And once you read and fall in love with Dive Bar series be sure to pre-order "Twist" book#2 coming out on November 22nd :) 



XOXO

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